


Lupercalia

by wildestranger



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-10
Updated: 2010-04-10
Packaged: 2017-10-08 20:37:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/79302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildestranger/pseuds/wildestranger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Lupercalia and Sirius decided to run around naked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lupercalia

Aurelia Bendybuck stood on tiptoe, closed her eyes, and pressed her lips to Tim Vane's. This was the most perfect moment of her life. She had waited for weeks for Tim to ask her to be his Valentine. She had given him long, smouldering looks in the classroom. She had dropped her handkerchief every time she passed him in the hallway, and charmed it to turn pink when he behaved like a gentleman and handed it to her with a bow. Now her patience was to be rewarded with the perfect kiss.

Aurelia heard the slap on her behind before she felt it. She looked at Tim in astonishment, but his expression matched hers. The sound of footsteps, previously ignored in the haze of true love, could be heard disappearing in the distance. They both turned to look, and Aurelia saw a white shape further in the corridor, running away. A white naked male shape, who, just as Aurelia was watching, raised his hand and slapped an embracing couple on the back with some kind of a whip. The couple broke apart, looking shocked and scandalised. Aurelia turned back to Tim.

"Black and Potter," they agreed.

  
James Potter, ignorant of this slander, was at the moment neither taking part in a prank nor planning one. He was huddled in a little alcove next to the Charms classroom, trying to stick his tongue as far as it would go into the mouth of Lily Evans. He hoped that this strategy would convince her that their love was true and eternal and should therefore be consummated as soon as possible. So far Lily was having none of it, but was, nevertheless, enjoying his attempts at persuading her, and so James remained hopeful. When Lily made a strange noise in her throat, he began to feel victorious. When she pulled away and made another strange noise, James realised it was nothing to do with him. He turned to look at Lily, who had opened her mouth and was pointing behind him.

"What the hell is that?"

_That_, it turned out, was Sirius Black, who was running towards them wearing only a small loincloth made out of leather and a black mask. Every now and then he would lift his hand and slap some unsuspecting couple with a leather strip.

"What is he doing?" whispered Lily, looking both amused and horrified.

James was still staring open-mouthed when Sirius skidded to a halt before them. He was covered in some kind of oil, and grinning in a slightly disturbing way.

"Wotcher there, Evans. Having a cosy moment in a dark corner, are we?"

"Black, what are you doing?"

Sirius made a show of looking grave, and began to recite in a tone somewhat resembling that of Remus:

"On the 15th February, the people of Ancient Rome used to celebrate the festival of Lupercalia. Young men ran through the streets naked, covered in oil, and struck women they passed with leather strips in order to promote fertility."

"Black, _why_ on earth are you doing this?"

Sirius winked.

"You feeling lucky tonight, Evans? I know for a fact that Jamesy here has a whole collection of condoms in his pocket, so…be careful with all those little Potters!"

He slapped both of their behinds, waggled his eyebrows and continued on his way.

"Lily, I am so sorry, I swear I had no idea what he was doing, you know how he gets, Lily, Lily? Are you looking at Sirius's arse?"

  
Sirius had managed to run through seven corridors and spank over thirty couples before he heard McGonagall's voice behind him. He stepped into an unused classroom, took the borrowed Invisibility Cloak from the pouch on his back, and put it on. He walked past McGonagall who was trying to calm down a hysterical fifth-year, Aurelia something from Hufflepuff. Her boyfriend was looking distinctly unhappy as she went on about _the naked man_ she had seen, he was _naked_ and _you could see his…his…_ Sirius considered how his exhibitionist tendencies improved the love lives of all the school, and felt a warm, fuzzy glow inside.

The Gryffindor common room was empty when Sirius climbed through the door hole. He took off the cloak and walked up the stairs to the seventh years' dormitory, and to a very surprised Remus Lupin.

Sirius stood in the doorway for a moment in order to give Remus a chance to enjoy the view, and then stepped forward and slapped him on the arse with a leather strip. As Remus stood there speechless, Sirius slapped him again. This seemed to propel him into action, or at least, into words.

"What are you doing?"

Slap.

"It's Lupercalia.'

Slap.

"I know what day it is, you idiot, but why are you hitting me with that? I am unlikely to get pregnant, you know."

Slap.

"And while I can understand you would enjoy parading your nudity in front of the whole school, there's no reason to be displaying yourself for me, so kindly put some clothes on."

Sirius had stopped hitting Remus, but made no move to get dressed. Instead he stepped closer, and closer again. _No concept of personal space_, thought Remus. He could feel Sirius's breath on his face.

"It's not just for fertility. It's to chase away the wolves."

Remus was still for a moment.

"So you are trying to chase me away? This seems like a rather silly way of doing it… "

"Not you, the wolf. It's two weeks from the full moon, and it's Lupercalia, so now the wolf is gone. Now it's just you."

With this, Sirius moved closer, if that was possible, and Remus could feel oil-slicked fingers against his stomach, on his hip bones just above his pyjama bottoms, on the inside of his arms. He pushed Sirius away.

"And what the fuck do you think you know about the wolf, Sirius? It doesn't go away. It's always here."

"I know you watch me like a wolf, like you're hungry and I'm your prey. But now there is no wolf. And you still watch me."

Silence.

"Well, you're naked, what do you expect me to do?"

Remus could hear his voice rising, and Sirius smiled.

"You can touch."

And he stepped closer again, and put Remus's hands on his chest, slick with oil and smooth. Remus could feel the muscles moving under his fingers. He could feel Sirius's heart beating, fast on adrenaline. He raised his eyes back to Sirius's face, started to say something but then Sirius was kissing him and his hands were in Sirius's hair and Sirius's hands were opening the buttons on his shirt. He was sure there was something he was supposed to remember, some reason why this wasn't a good idea, but _was that Sirius's hand_ and _what was he doing down there_ and _oh_. There was something he wanted. Then Sirius made a noise in the back of his throat, and Remus remembered that was it. He pushed Sirius on his bed, and started grinding their bodies together, slowly, lazily, with insistent rhythm. He bend down to lick Sirius's collarbone, and then he was coming, Sirius's hand trapped between them, stroking until they were both spent. Remus collapsed beside him.

"See, Moony, no wolf, just you and me."

Remus bit his shoulder.


End file.
